What IS (and ISN’T) a Postpartum Plan - And Why You Need One
What is a Postpartum Plan?
A Postpartum Plan is not some vague collection of thoughts about how you want your early postpartum period to play out. It's so much more than a vision, or hopes, as to how life will be when your little one arrives.
A Postpartum plan: is the collection of your preferences, desires, boundaries, choices etc that you decide in advance you will try and live out during those early weeks and months after the birth of your baby.
Simply put - It’s the set of decisions you are ‘trying’ for.
I say ‘trying’ because it’s very normal for circumstances to change or unknowns to pop up that might make someone want to evaluate/alter the plan.
And this is ok, because it’s a plan – not a contract – you are not bound by death to follow it to a ‘T’. Its sole purpose is to support you and the family, and not hinder needed progress because it's overly ridged.
A good plan usually includes decisions/intentions around: feeding, sleep (both adult and infant), household chores, self-care, mental health buffers, planning additional support or possible professional supports. It is guided by your values. It may be as unique as your family is.
Postpartum planning is NOT simply researching the latest items on offer so you can pimp out your pram and nursery. It's also not simply filling your freezer with premade meals and organizing who will be looking after your toddler and/or pets while you're at hospital with your new little bundle of joy. While these things are important, true postpartum planning goes deeper then this.
It's also not turning to google to learn exactly what a newborn is like (as if all newborns are the same and deciding, before you have even met your little one, that you are going to follow the exact ‘sleep, play eat routine’ that your favorite influencer swears saved her life.)
I mean, I am glad they found something that worked for them (and hopefully their baby), but just a word of caution – parenting comes in all shapes and sizes, and so do newborns. And this is a good thing.
The way you parent will be informed by your values, (and who your child is). And this in turn will inform your plan, and the boundaries you will need to put in place to protect your plan.
Because if there was anything I learnt from being a ‘young’ mum (I mean, young by today’s averages, I was still in my mid 20s), is that almost EVERYONE loves to give parents advice.
Which can be extremely helpful, and also extremely confusing.
Which is why is good to have a plan – a plan as to what your guiding principles and values are, a plan as to how you want to approach difficult and trying situations, and a plan for when (not if) you will need some support.
It's good and healthy to create a realistic vision of not only what life might be like (because the early postpartum stage of life can have many surprises), but also a vision of what you want these precious early weeks to be like. And then plan to support this. Plan and break down the elements that can support your choices and desires.
Here are Melbourne Postpartum Services (MPS) we believe so strongly in the value of a good postpartum plan that we hold FREE community workshops to walk expecting parents through the process (are you a local? Check out some upcoming dates and locations here). But it's also likely that there are many parents who are not local or able to attend a workshop in person. So, while you wait for the online version to become available, do check out our highly recommended FREE tip sheet which covers many of the major areas to consider when creating your postpartum plan. You get access by signing up to our e-newsletter (a helpful resource for anyone expecting or currently in the baby stage).
However, back to the ‘WHY.’ You now know what a postpartum plan is, but are you convinced as to why planning is a must?
Here are some of the top reasons we believe that postpartum planning is a MUST for ANY expecting family (not just first timers either):
The early postpartum period is frequently underestimated – not many people understand that this is one of the toughest life transitions you will ever go thought. So, let's not go into it unprepared. A good postpartum plan helps ease the transition and reduce what is commonly referred to as ‘the shock of the new. However, do know, that ‘the shock of the new’ is likely to still be experienced to some degree even with the best plan. You will still go thought many ‘first times’ in your early postpartum period, and it’s ok to feel all the feels that come along with this. Which leads us to our second point...
Doing and figuring out things for the first time is always difficult and comes with a range of emotions, some of which are terms ‘uncomfortable’. There is A LOT of ‘firsts’ when it comes to newborns and becoming a parents. You can’t control and prepare for everything but trust me, if you are already prepared with taking other things off your plate for bit so you can adjust, and have an active plan as to how to ‘feed into yourself’ and deal with the uncomfortable emotions, the energy zapped by constantly dealing with all the ‘first times’ ( and the feelings of confusion and incompetence that can often accompany them) you will be much better off.
You create a postpartum plan so you can have some much needed JOY, PEACE and CONFIDENCE. You plan so you can actually have the positive vision you desire (and deserve) come to pass. These types of postpartum experiences don’t just happen – they are intentional. Which leads us to our last, and likely most important point...
You need to create a postpartum plan so that EVERYONE’S needs are met. There is no chance of thriving and feeling deep joy if your basic needs are not being met. This sounds like a no-brainer, but you might be surprised as to how often everyone is completely focused on the new little family member and making sure that they have everything they need, only to forget to eat and get enough rest themselves. But it's not sustainable to continually push aside the parent’s needs to make sure that the baby is thriving. Yes, being a parent is partly learning how to become less self-focused and more sacrificial for the sake of the little one/s you love – but it is possible to overdo it. And at this point it's not only harmful to yourself, but also to the rest of your family. If you don’t have your basic needs met, it will only become harder and harder to meet all the needs of your baby, and to be the parent your heart desires. There is a lot of truth to the saying ‘you cannot pour from an empty cup’. I could write a whole blog post on this subject, but in short, some of the universal needs are: the need for true rest, need for physical healing, nourishment, loving safe relationships and support, trustworthy and non-judgmental learning opportunities, and support with breastfeeding.
So now you know – Postpartum planning is so much more than packing your hospital bag and buying needed baby items, and it's so much more than doing some meal prepping and meal train organizing. It’s actually an essential activity for anyone that doesn’t want to spend the time struggling and its defiantly for the people who deeply desire to build a strong bond with their baby. Having an enjoyable early postpartum period doesn't just happen, it doesn’t come down to luck. It comes to people who take the time to prepare, to have the conversations pre-baby arrival with their partner and support networks. It comes to people who plan.